May 17th, 2007

i think its time for me to break my silence.

it certainly has been quite some time since i've posted anything to livejournal, much less to this group. but its come to a point where i feel that something has to be said, and seeing everyone in this group is either involved, knows whats going on, or just generally is associated with the people involved, this certainly seems like an apt opportunity. i'm not going to use any names, because really i don't want to come in here pointing fingers and making accusations. suffice it to say, i believe i have been silent on this issue for far to long, and now intend to state my opinion. it will further suffice to say that the people of whom i speak, you should know who you are. that being said, here i go.
as i mentioned above, i don't want it so seem as if i'm out to get someone or that i'm pointing fingers at anyone. i know perfectly well that almost always there are two sides to a story, and as such my opinion is based solely off of what i've heard. that being said, i'll certainly listen to any other side of the story, but i simply cannot sit anymore without saying something.
jumping right into things, in nine days, alicia and i will have been dating for seven months, and while this is still not the longest relationship i've been in, i'd like anyone in this group to be able to tell me they've been in longer. to say that i don't care about her immensely not only is stupid, but in my eyes pretty much impossible. so when it comes to my attention that people are mistreating or judging her because of her relationship with me, i tend to get upset. first of all, the mere fact that someone would judge a person who was allegedly their friend by the company they keep (especially if you also are a part of similar company)only goes to reveal the horrible nature of their own personality along with incredible hypocrisy. next off, i would be disgusted to think they could consider themselves still friends if they judged a person that way. next off, the fact that someone would judge alicia based off of me further angers me, because that means that rather than voice your discontents about me to myself, you have to reflect your negative opinions about me onto alicia, who certainly doesn't deserve that. i don't care if you don't like me, but don't judge her because of it.
next off, i've heard tale of an occurrence where a huge conflict arose because of people talking about others behind their back. that being said, put yourself in my position, and try to imagine hearing that people are saying that i only go out with people who i know will have sex with me. before even talking about this statements validity or lack there of, i'd like to point out that while it reflects poorly on me, yet again it reflects worse on someone who you try to pass yourself off as a friend to. i personally do not have room in my life for people like you, let alone friends like you. as for the statement itself, as i said, in 9 days alicia and i will have been going out for 7 months, and while i refuse to justify myself to a bunch of gossipers and judgmental bitches, i doubt anyone to whom i speak has ever been in love with someone other than themselves. i can't change your opinions, but i can go so far as to say this; that statement is completely untrue, and any jury in the world would agree with me that it, in and of itself, is slanderous and hurtful. the fact that so much interest is poured into my personal life when so few of you are actually my friends shows nothing more than a lack of a life on your part. were i in your position, i'd concern myself more with my own life than that of others.
you may not agree with any of what i say, any of my beliefs or more prominently with any of my actions, and i'm fine with that. i'll listen to any other side of the story. but when you're going to attack me, and then use that to further attack alicia, i have to wonder whether you actually expected me to never say something in defense of my own integrity. i think i've been incredibly reasonably about all of this, despite its nature, but that aside, i'm a very defensive person, and if this doesn't stop, i may not be so reasonable about it the next time.